How are we doing?
I finally made it out on Monday afternoon to take a one mile walk; that is a first in months. It felt great to be out in the sunshine and warmth and to allow my legs to generate energy that made its way to my brain which helped to clear out the mental fog. And in those moments I think, “Okay, this feels normal, I feel “normal”. I am on my way to being out of the pit and on with life.” And then it can be three seconds later, the next morning or afternoon, and the weight descends once again. “Where did the Light go?!” “What did I do wrong to be back in this dark place?”
There are so many facets to this depression thing:
-people see us as lepers, not to be touched, better ignore the situation
-there are no hard and fast answers
-why can’t we just “choose” to be happy
-body needs to move for health; absolutely no energy in the legs
-being productive is so vital to moving forward, but when the mind and body are not working it is an impossibility.
-please feel free to add to this list; what you have experienced
So I ask you, my friends, how do we keep moving forward. What do we do when we have a good moment and then are thrown back into the darkness?
What I do know beyond a shadow of a doubt is that those of us suffering with depression/anxiety need a community of support. Those who will walk along side us no matter how ugly it may get; they love us more than they fear the disease.
“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself. ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along,’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
So what fears are you staring down? How can we help you defeat that monster?
“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.
-Martin Luther King Jr.
I am cheering for all of us to take that first step…..and then the next!
Stepping Out in Faith,
18 “Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
19 See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.
20 The wild animals honor me,
the jackals and the owls,
because I provide water in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland,
to give drink to my people, my chosen,
21 the people I formed for myself
that they may proclaim my praise.
Work continues on the home renovation. After two months without, we finally have hot water! Oh how I appreciate that simple pleasure. Interesting what happens to a hundred year old home with galvanized pipes with water that had been turned off for nearly two years; once everything was back to “working” order, gunk cloaked all the new stuff!!!! Does it ever end?! Everyday feels as though we take one step forward and two steps back. Today is ungunking day and letting the clear water flow and purge the pipes.
Sometimes it is difficult to see the “new thing” that God is doing because we are so preoccupied with the gunk that seems to get stirred up whenever God is in action. When God’s plans are unfolding, evil is always disturbed. It takes faith, trust and perseverance to walk in the way of our Lord. Gunk will happen but if we stay the coarse there is a promise of crystal clear water that will refresh and satisfy. He will “provide water in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”
I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it is the Lord who has provided this new home for my family. I have to remind myself daily to perceive the “new thing” that God is doing; that He is making a way in this wasteland and my job is to rejoice and praise Him.
“Where is your wife Sarah?” they asked him. “There, in the tent,” he said. Then one of them said, “I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son.” Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him. Abraham and Sarah were already very old, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing. So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, “After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I now have this pleasure?” Then the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Will I really have a child, now that I am old?’ Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return to you at the appointed time next year, and Sarah will have a son.”
Sarah and Abraham had been promised for decades that they would have a son and from that son Abraham and Sarah’s descendants would outnumber the stars in the heavens. Sarah is well advanced in years, way beyond childbearing, and now when she feels dried up as a prune the Lord tells them that a year from now Sarah will be holding her newborn son. I can understand their doubt. Maybe that is the problem, we try to filter God’s Word through our understanding instead of just standing upon His Word. He is God and we are not! During times that are way beyond my understanding I cherish the simple and profound statement, “Is anything too hard for the Lord?”
We are living in unstable times and I know that I need to stand upon the fact that NOTHING IS TOO HARD FOR MY LORD! Amen and Amen!!!!