I made a commitment to myself to meditate each morning for one month. I know little to nothing about meditation but am stepping into the waters and will just trust that I will learn/know how to swim. Today is day 2 of my meditation commitment.
This past year demanded that I stretch and grow and change. Circumstances were so extremely out of my control that life was screaming, “you have to change the way you have been doing life!” People, videos, books were introduced to me in small and subtle ways. This change I am on has come gradually, slowly. It is only in hindsight that I see how I had/have been given tools, information that at first was so foreign and cumbersome for me that I figuratively put it on a shelf until the day I discovered Kyle Cease. Kyle speaks in a way and in a language that my mind is able to grasp and all of those previous pieces that I had put on the shelf are coming together and forming a complete new thought pattern in my head and in my heart.
So back to this thing called meditation… I do know that there is much written on meditation; information galore on “how” to meditate but my buddy, Kyle, talks about just being present and watching the thoughts as they show up and give those thoughts the time they need to simply break away. He says to allow the thoughts to be; not to change them or force them into some other thought or form but let the thoughts express and watch to see what they do. (by the way, Kyle Cease was a stand up comedian for over 20 years and now is in the business of transformation. He and his team do Evolving Out Loud seminars that are fabulous. Kyle has a website and a Facebook page; easy to find and loaded with awesome content. I do not know Kyle personally but he and his team have made a huge impact upon my life).
Today, Day 2, as I sat quietly and watched the picture show of my thoughts it was just kinda a jumbled mess. Sat there thinking, “I have no idea what I am doing. Dang, I committed to doing this, can’t give up already. Okay, remember to watch the show…just let it happen.” And in that place I thought/knew/understood/felt Release and Receive, Release and Receive, Release and Receive. I need to release all that I think I know and understand about what I need to do in this life to get to where I think I should be, in order to receive all that has been waiting in the storehouses of heaven/the universe to pour into my life so that I can live into my calling….be who I was always meant to be.
I was born into an adult world. My parents were 42 when I was born and my brother was 18 and my sister 13. My grandparents were quite elderly. My entire family had experienced a whole way of life before I hit the scene. It was like being left out of an entire generation that I came into on the tail end. They all had shared life experiences/memories and then there was me.
Since I can remember I treasured family pieces; furniture, dishes, pictures…stuff. Through the meditation today I came to understand that through those things I was trying to become a part of my family history that my grandparents/parents/siblings shared but I did not. I was trying to be a part of that past. Time to Release. Life is not in the past but in the living of this moment. Stuff is just that, stuff; it is not life.
There is much that I desire to release and as I release I need to open myself to Receive. Getting rid of what we do not need, what is not us, is great and freeing and wonderful but if we do not also learn to receive then the empty spaces left from letting go will draw us back to filling them with stuff once again. Receive what was always intended to be mine; life to its fullest. I do not know “how” but I will continue to meditate/pray/trust and walk as each step is presented to me.