Well, I have done it again…..been away from the Word for far too long and my life shows it. How is it that I can hear the Truth calling in my ear time and time again and I choose to ignore/put off that which I know beyond a shadow of a doubt is the answer to each and every situation and question in life? WHY?????? My humanness can really annoy me at times! Can I get an Amen?! My entire being is crying out for the Word of God and I keep trying to quiet that cry with all kinds of other “stuff”. Ugh! I know better…….and yet I repeat this ridiculous pattern.
We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin.15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good.17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!
Reading through the books of the Bible that Paul wrote there is paragraph upon paragraph of info on the way to live life; to live as a disciple of Christ and then he (Paul) seems to have a melt-down. Well, hallelujah, Paul is human too! To be completely honest here and transparent, there are times, many times when I don’t want to read about the “how to” of being a faithful Christian….cause I just DON’T WANT TO. I am tired, I am worn and I just want to live…..just live…..just smile….just sing…..just dance….just breathe.
So here I am admitting that I have done it again; I have wandered from faithful reading of God’s Word. I have not wandered from Him. I have not lost my love for Him. I have just been letting the world crowd Him out a little…..maybe more than I little. Now it is time to pull myself back in again; to hone in on the voice of God once more…..to make sure that I am putting my feet where He desires for me to tread.
So dear readers, here I am, a lousy sinner admitting my failings. If you have ever felt like me or like Paul in Romans 14, please know for a fact that you are NOT alone.