“Does God give you his Spirit and work miracles among you because you observe the law, or because you believe what you heard?”
So where have I been again?! Consistency has not been my strong suit for many, many months now. Truth be told, I have been wandering….drifting. Trying to make sense of worldly issues that are none of my business, but I have allowed them to hang heavy upon my heart and mind and it has robbed me of joy.
If faith is based upon right and wrong; good and evil, it will not hold up to the lies of the Deceiver. Living by the law takes way more effort and energy than any human possesses. Living by the law is living by our might and power. There have been times in life when issues have blind sided me, hit me by surprise right smack between the eyes. Due to the uniqueness and suddenness, I have often times reverted to trying to mentally resolve the issue/conflict through the lens of right and wrong. I am 56 years old, why have I not figured out yet that just does not work?! The only thing that way of thinking does is to send me into mental gymnastics. Exhausting and wrought with turmoil and heaviness; no peace.
Then I decide to go “home”. Home, the place where my Savior lives. Home, the place where acceptance is without question. The only thing that Jesus really ever asks of us is to be home with Him. I am using “home” figuratively. It is not the house where I live or the house I lived in as a child, but the life that Jesus created for He and I to dwell in together. And when I am home with Jesus, He asks me, “Do you, Kay, believe what you heard? Do you believe what I have told you?” And when I stop thinking about what is right and wrong and when I start listening to the voice of my Lord, the spark of peace begins to ignite once again.
So I am trying to find my way home again. I have been wandering for far too long. I hunger for His peace. I am choosing to spend time remembering what the Lord has told me. It is not always an easy choice to make when the world is jumping up and down screaming, “Look at me, over here, look this way!” But a choice that I am deciding to make each moment of this day.
Have you found your way home?