His Heart for Us

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Psalm 103:13

Just as a father has compassion on his children,
So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.

Had one of those dreams in the wee hours of the morning that caused my mood upon waking to be very sad and heart-broken.  The dream consisted of my youngest son at about three years of age.  I was trying to get ready and out the door for work and my son was busy doing everything but finding his shoes so that I could help him put them on.  As he sat on the piano bench were he was playing a newly created tune, I knelt down, looked him in the eye and tried to explain to him that Mommy’s boss will be very upset if Mommy is late for work.  With that my son slid off of the bench and with crocodile tears in his eyes tried to find shoes.  His tears turned to sobs and my Mommy heart began to break.  He found a pair of slipper-like black shoes.  He handed the shoes to me, sat down in front of me and continued to heave sobs of great emotional depth.  By now I knew that there was no way that I would be able to get him to the sitter and make it to work on time and again my heart just broke seeing my precious, sweet child in such distress.  As I took the shoes from him and began to put the first one on I saw that the shoe had a big rip in the side.  I showed my son and the tears of distress that followed were of a child who was trying to do the right thing in a world he did not understand, did not want to be a part of, but so wanted to keep the boss from hurting his mom.  It was the face of a three year old who was defeated.

As I write to you it is probably three hours since I had this dream and I am still very upset.  The child of my dream is now a man of 24 and all I want to do right now is pick that sweet baby up in my arms and hold him close.  I can’t turn back time and hold that three year old again and so the dilemma of a Mother’s Heart.  And I asked God this morning, “Why?”  Why should I hurt so from a dream?  I have wandered my house this morning with an aching heart and empty arms.  Not knowing exactly what to do, I turned on my computer and checked emails.  One email contained Psalm 103 and when I reached verse 13 I smiled and said, “WOW!”  I heard the Lord say to me, “Kay, I understand the heartache.  You are not alone.  Your children are not alone.  I can pick them up in my arms and hold them close.”  The Lord showed me that He knows full well the ache of a Mother’s Heart.

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